You want to change – Are you willing to be different?


ChangeChange is all around us.

It’s been said that the only thing that doesn’t change…is the fact that everything changes.

And in most cases, we all assume that change is for the better, when we initiate it. After all, why would we want to change if it wasn’t for the better? (There are no guarantees for changes that come from other sources).

But in most cases when people say they are going to change…it’s only lip service.

Yes, I will say it.  Most change initiatives are only talk.  Hot air. Nada. Useless.

There are plenty of good intentions for changing.  I want to grow my business.  I want to be more responsive to customers. I want to lose weight. I want to read more. I want to stop smoking. I want, I want, I want…to change.

There is significant amount of education that people undertake to effect change in their lives.  Reading books.  Listening to webinars.  Watching lectures.  Attending seminars.  Yada, Yada, Yada.  Lots of effort, yet very little impact or change in most instances.

Take this simple test.

Be honest with yourself.  Answer these four simple questions:

1. What was the last business book, self help book, or instructional book that you read?  What was the title of the book?

2. Were there great…or even just good…lessons in that book that you knew would create a positive impact in your life?

3. Did you actually do anything from that book that changed your life?

4. Do you even remember what you wanted to do from that book?

My guess is that your answers for 2,3,4 are Yes, No, No.

Honestly…am I right?

I would bet that you couldn’t even answer question number 1 without looking at the book to see the title.

You may have had great intentions to make a change in your life, but you did nothing with it.  Why? Because….

Change is hard.

The thought of change is easy and learning what you want to do is easy.  But actually doing those things is hard.

And what is holding you back?  You KNOW that it would be good, but you still don’t do it.  WHY???

You are probably unwilling to do the hardest thing about change.

Are you willing to do the hardest thing?

You are probably unwilling to give up the comfort of what you know.  Of how things are done.  Of how you interact with other people, and how they interact with you.

You don’t want to change your routines.  Your habits. Your comfort level. The knowledge of past experience.  The predictability of what you do.

You want to stay in your “safe zone”.  Your “comfort zone”.  You don’t want to rock the boat, shake the tree or any of those euphemisms.

You are a creature of habit…habits that control YOU, not the other way around.  Let me say it again…your habits control YOU and are preventing you from enacting meaningful change in your life.

So what is that hardest thing you need to do?

…Be willing to leave your “old self” behind.  Understand that to change, you cannot continue to be the same person you were.

The difference can be either minimal (I will only have one cup of coffee in the AM, instead of two), or more dramatic (I will set a goal for my new career and achieve it in 6 months).

But regardless of what it is, when you change ANYTHING in your life, your equilibrium changes.  You become a different being than you were before. And all of the interactions, baggage, and other connections that you had in the past may be changed, even if just a little bit. But you WILL be a different person. And you will have to learn how to reset your equilibrium, until your next change.

Others around you will have to adjust also. And the negative feedback from them can also be holding you back.  After all they will have a new person that they need to interact with.  Some of the ways that they had to control or manipulate you…or predict your behavior, may be gone.  And they are also thrust into this new unpredictable relationship.  And they will not like it..and will resist it.  You need not give in, but you just might.

Are YOU willing to accept that of yourself? Are you willing to accept the changes that it will make in your life?  Are you willing to work within the new equilibrium that you have established? Are you willing to have to readjust your relationship with others? Are you willing to fight against your habits and other ingrained behaviors that want to hold you back?

If you are not willing to do this..and abandon the idea that you will be different, you won’t achieve meaningful change.  No matter what you do – read self-help books. get a coach, or any of those resources, you won’t achieve that change without realizing …and accepting…that you will have to leave a small part of yourself behind, and replace it with something new. Something better.

Are you willing to do that?


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